Numb
by Nerdy J Fics
Summary: Though he and his father have been rented, all Zuko wants to do is be more like himself and less like Ozai. Written for the Pro-Bending Circuit.


**Prompts used: Roses, Chair, Numb by Linkin Park**

 **Word count: 809**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, or I wouldn't be so depressed.**

* * *

I stared blankly out at the ocean, watching the waves slam the boat and dissipate, while the vessel rocked back and forth.

 _I'm going home, I_ thought dully. It was strange. I'd achieved everything I had been working towards for the past three years of my life. You'd think I would be excited, or emotional, or.. _something._ Anything but this blandness consuming me.

I closed my amber eyes, trying to recall memories I had long since tucked away.

* * *

 _"Drill it again!"_

 _I panted, on my knees again. I could feel Father's stare searing holes through my body, silently judging my weakness. With this thought in mind, I returned to my feet, entering what I knew to be a weak stance in my exhaustion. Breathing raggedly, I raised my fists to frame my face, bracing myself for the next strike._

 _My sensei studied me briefly, scowling._

 _"Eleven years old, and still unable to defend yourself properly. Disgraceful, Prince Zuko."_

 _I licked my dry lips, focusing on the Firebending master's fists rather than his words. The harsh words would only have made me panic and screw up even more... And I couldn't do that. Not today. Not with Father watching me train._

 _The fire blast came quicker this time, but I was ready. Bringing my hands together, I parted the flames, twisting into a rear kick as the form dictated. Within a few moves, however, I was on my back, staring dazedly at the sky._

 _"That is enough for today," Father said, a darkness lining his every word. "I have something I wish to discuss with Prince Zuko. You are dismissed."_

 _I clambered to my feet, clumsily bowing to the master as he left. Slowly, fear hammering at my heart, I turned to face my father, bowing to him as well._

 _"Come," he ordered._

 _I could feel the cold sweat running down my body, and I vaguely noted that I was dehydrated._

 _Walking silently behind Father, we entered his study. Shutting the double doors behind him, he didn't look at me._

 _"You are disgracing me, Prince Zuko. Should word get around that the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, the heir, is weak, how will that reflect on me? On your country?" His voice was calm, but I knew that this was an even worse sign than when he was yelling... This meant he felt secure in what he was about to do._

 _"I apologize, Father," I whispered, looking at the ground fearfully._

 _All was silent for what seemed an eternity, as I trembled. It all changed in a matter of seconds. A chair was thrown at me with a roar, and I barely managed to slice through it with a fire whip. I looked at Father, and he had a look of complete and total hatred in his eyes._

 _"Get out," he growled._

 _I obeyed quickly. What else would I do?_

* * *

I should have known back then...

* * *

I walked through the palace gardens, stopping to smell the roses... No, literally. I stopped and smelled the roses. They were Mom's favorite flower, after fire lilies. I breathed in sharply, reprimanding myself for allowing thoughts of her to enter my mind. More than ever, I recently had been thinking of my past... _Remembering_ my past... So many memories had been suppressed... I couldn't think about it now, though. I was due to see my father.

For the first time in three years.

* * *

I could feel a tightness gripping my chest as Father spoke. _He's just a child... Younger than I was when I was banished... And you congratulate me for his death?_

He finished talking at last, and I knew he was giving me room to speak. More than that, he wanted to test me. He wanted to make sure I was the perfectly bred prince I was supposed to be. My own thoughts surprised me, but I shoved them aside for the time being... And I played the part well.

* * *

I sat alone. I had been alone so often now that I'd returned home. I was being crushed by my past...

"No more," I whispered. "I'll make you proud, Mother. I've screwed up... A lot...but I swear I will make you smile down on me."

* * *

"No more!" I yelled, interrupting my father... No. Interrupting the _Fire Lord_.

"You've kept me down for too long," I growled. "You know what my greatest ambition in life is?"

"All I want to do is be more like _me_ and less like you!"

Though I knew he had never been so disappointed in me, I had never felt lighter in my soul. One would think that a kid would feel bad about redirecting lightning at his dad, but me?

All I wanted to do was laugh.

* * *

"Where... Is... My mother?" I hissed.

 _She's the one I truly care for... Goodbye... Father..._


End file.
